Electric Lady

More George Carlin

Here's another question I've been pondering -- what is all this shit about angels? Have you heard this? Three out of four people belive in angels. Are you fucking stupid? Has everybody lost their mind? You know what I think it is? I think it's a massive, collective, psychotic chemical flashback for all the drugs smoked, swallowed, shot, and obsorbed rectally by all Americans from 1960 to 1990. Thirty years of street drugs will get you some fucking angels, my friend!

What about Goblins, huh? Doesn't anybody belive in Goblins? You never hear about this. Except on Halloween and then it's all negative shit. And what about Zombies? You never hear from Zombies! That's the trouble with Zombies, they're unreliable! I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.


Fencing. Faggoty college shit. Also this activity isn't a sport, because you can't gamble on it. Anything you can't gamble on can't be a sport. When was the last time you made a fuckin' fencing bet?



Very Very Very Very Short Stories



We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never

worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror

writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers

took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said,

'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise


Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
- William Shatner

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
- David Brin

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
- Alan Moore

Longed for him. Got him. Shit.
- Margaret Atwood

His penis snapped off; he's pregnant!
- Rudy Rucker

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

Internet "wakes up?" Ridicu -
no carrier.
- Charles Stross

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
- Frank Miller

Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky

"Cellar?" "Gate to, uh … hell, actually."
- Ronald D. Moore

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
- Vernor Vinge

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
- James Patrick Kelly

It's behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O'Bannon

I'm your future, child. Don't cry.
- Stephen Baxter

1940: Young Hitler! Such a cantor!
- Michael Moorcock

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
- Richard Powers

I'm dead. I've missed you. Kiss … ?
- Neil Gaiman

The baby's blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
- Howard Waldrop

To save humankind he died again.
- Ben Bova

We went solar; sun went nova.
- Ken MacLeod

Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: "You cow!"
- Paul Di Filippo

"I couldn't believe she'd shoot me."
- Howard Chaykin

Don't marry her. Buy a house.
- Stephen R. Donaldson

Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.
- Mark Millar

- Harry Harrison

Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
- Neal Stephenson

Easy. Just touch the match to
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Special Web-only edition: We were unable to include these 59 stories in the print magazine.

New genes demand expression -- third eye.
- Greg Bear

K.I.A. Baghdad, Aged 18 - Closed Casket
- Richard K. Morgan

WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
- Gregory Benford

Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.
- Brian Herbert

Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.
- Cory Doctorow

Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan

Bush told the truth. Hell froze.
- William Gibson

whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time
- Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel

Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
- James P. Blaylock

God to Earth: "Cry more, noobs!"
- Marc Laidlaw

Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
- Marc Laidlaw

Thought I was right. I wasn't.
- Graeme Gibson

Lost, then found. Too bad.
- Graeme Gibson

Three to Iraq. One came back.
- Graeme Gibson

Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
- David Brin

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
- David Brin

Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
- David Brin

Temporal recursion. I'm dad and mom?
- David Brin

Time Avenger's mistaken! It wasn't me...
- David Brin

Democracy postponed. Whence franchise? Ask Diebold...
- David Brin

Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
- David Brin

Deadline postponed. Five words enough...?
- David Brin

Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something.
- David Brin

Brevity's virtue? Wired saves adspace. Subscribe!
- David Brin

Death postponed. Metastasized cells got organized.
- David Brin

Microsoft gave us Word. Fiat lux?
- David Brin

Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
- David Brin

Singularity postponed. Datum missing. Query Godoogle?
- David Brin

Please, this is everything, I swear.
- Orson Scott Card

I saw, darling, but do lie.
- Orson Scott Card

Osama's time machine: President Gore concerned.
- Charles Stross

Sum of all fears: AND patented.
- Charles Stross

Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars.
- Charles Stross

Mozilla devastates Redmond, Google's nuke implicated.
- Charles Stross

Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
- Ken MacLeod

Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
- Eileen Gunn

WIRED stimulates the planet: Utopia blossoms!
- Paul Di Filippo

Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
- Paul Di Filippo

MUD avatars rebel: virtual Independence Day.
- Paul Di Filippo

We crossed the border; they killed us.
- Howard Waldrop

H-bombs dropped; we all died.
- Howard Waldrop

Your house is mine: soft revolution.
- Howard Waldrop

Warskiing; log; prop in face.
- Howard Waldrop

The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit.
- Howard Waldrop

Salinger story: three koans in fountain.
- Howard Waldrop

Finally, he had no more words.
- Gregory Maguire

There were only six words left.
- Gregory Maguire

In the beginning was the word.
- Gregory Maguire

Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
- Gregory Maguire

Weeping, Bush misheard Cheney's deathbed advice.
- Gregory Maguire

Corpse parts missing. Doctor buys yacht.
- Margaret Atwood

Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved.
- Margaret Atwood

He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky

Time traveler's thought: "What's the password?"
- Steven Meretzky

I win lottery. Sun goes nova.
- Steven Meretzky

Steve ignores editor's word limit and
- Steven Meretzky

Leia: "Baby's yours." Luke: "Bad news…"
- Steven Meretzky

Parallel universe. Bush, destitute, joins army.
- Steven Meretzky

Dorothy: "Fuck it, I'll stay here."
- Steven Meretzky


OJ If I Did it


Not really graphic or anything - but stomach churning none-the-less.





And they all want to be my friends...

an Authentic Book!

< http://cgi.ebay.com/History-Of-france-The-First-Royal-Race_W0QQitemZ250133294815QQihZ015QQcategoryZ2201QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem >


 Atari cast-offs could be treasure trove for East Bay man

By Chris Metinko
San Jose Mercury News

Article Launched:06/20/2007 10:04:12 AM PDT

Before "Halo," "World of Warcraft" or any "Grand Theft Auto," there
was "Pole Position," "Donkey Kong," and yes - everyone's favorite -
"Dig Dug."
And Cort Allen has the documents, designs and diagrams to prove it -
at least for another day.

On Thursday, his collection of all-things Atari goes up for bid at
Sotheby's New York. It is expected to sell for between $150,000 and

Allen, 60, a Pleasanton resident and semiconductor design consultant,
laughs at the estimated sale price. Back in 1985, he just thought it
was a lot of cool stuff.

At that time, Allen was looking for used furniture for his new Quest
Consulting company and he stopped in Sunnyvale at an office equipment
fire sale for Atari which had gone belly up.

"I saw these cabinets and told the guy, "I want to buy these
cabinets,'" Allen remembered. "They were full of all this original
artwork for the game cartridges and the original manual writeups.

"The guy said, "Sure, let me just clean them out for you, and I said,
`No, no I want that stuff,'" Allen recalled.

"He said, "Why? It's junk," Allen said. "And I said, 'Yeah, but it's
cool junk.'"

Allen paid $2 for each of the 40 cabinets, each chockful of Atari 2600
pixelated goodness, which included drafts for a manual for the game
"Robotron 2084," classic artwork from "Dig Dug" and early images of
such characters such as Mario and Donkey Kong, for Atari versions of
the Nintendo games.

"I used to look at that stuff a lot," Allen said.

Since that time, Allen said he's moved the 350 pounds of video game
history around his house, from closet, to shelves to garage - all much
to his wife's chagrin.

"My wife's so thrilled" with the auction," Allen said. "She'll
probably even be happier Thursday when she knows it's gone for good."

Allen too is looking forward to Thursday. While he loves his
collection of Atari artifacts, he also loves the numbers Sotheby's has
told him he might get from his auction.

"Honestly, I thought maybe it was worth a couple of thousand dollars,"
he said. "When I found out how much they were estimating it at, I
couldn't believe it.

"It's one of those things where I said I'd never part with it. Then
somebody comes along and makes you an offer you can't believe and you
say, 'Sold,'" Allen said with a laugh.

Allen, who still owns an original Atari 2600, said if the video game
documents get the right bid, he's hoping to use the money to help pay
off his kids' college bills.

"It's really great stuff," Allen said. "It's the history of Atari. I
used to look at it quite a bit. But I'm OK parting with it now. I'm
tired of moving it around my house."


Wrong Trousers Day 2007

Wallace & Gromit's Wrong Trousers Day is fast approaching. On Friday 29th June you can join thousands of people across the country and get your kit on to raise money for children in hospitals and hospices all around the UK.

You decide what to wear; your favourite football kit, tennis shorts or cricket whites, the choice is yours, just have fun! If your organisation has a strict uniform policy you can simply wear one of our great Wrong Trousers Day stickers to show your support.

To register to take part and receive your fantastic Wallace & Gromit Fundraising pack please log on to          

Thank you for taking part and have lots of fun!

Nick Park
Trustee of Wallace & Gromit's Children's Foundation
Creator of Wallace & Gromit

Wallace & Gromit's Wrong Trousers Day raises funds for Wallace & Gromit's Children's Foundation, which supports children's healthcare throughout the UK.




the smell

Guy comes in the store sniffing and says "My, it smells good in here, like wood. That alone is a reason to return"


New York, USA to Paris, France

go to Google.com maps
click on get directions
put in from New York, usa to Paris, France
check out direction #21