Fwd: Darwin Awards Newsletter -- March 2007


Today is 3/5/7! Some would argue that those are the first three
prime numbers. Below are three prime (heh) *NEW* Darwin Awards,
and three OLD FAVORITES that occurred in the month of March.

WENDY'S CORNER: I'm giving away sets of three lovely bookmarks.
Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope, legal-size please, to:
Author Wendy Northcutt, c/o Dutton Books 3rd Floor,
375 Hudson Street, New York, NY 10014 (USA)

Confirmed True by Darwin

January 2007, Germany | A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort
to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable
victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods
into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line,
with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.

Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood
upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic
Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before
venturing onto the property.

The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be
ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.

References: http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2007-01.html

- - -

Confirmed by Darwin

November 2006, Singapore | Picture a college dorm room.
Textbooks, dirty laundry, sexy posters, food wrappers, and
in the middle of it all, a 16-year-old male rocking out
to loud music. A typical student, a typical day.

But this particular student, bouncing on his bed as he rocked
out on his air guitar, was about to "take things too far,"
according to the coroner's report. Li Xiao Meng, a student
at Singapore's Hua Business School, bounced up and down on
his bed with such enthusiasm that he rocked himself right out
of the third-floor window.

Normally the windows are locked, but students reportedly
force the locks so they can sneak a cigarette. Perhaps
alluding to Ted Nugent's rock song, the court ruled it
a case of "Death By Misadventure."

Reader Comments:
"Did he fall, or did he dive into an imaginary mosh pit?"
"Dude! Where's my mosh pit?"
"Oingo Boingo"

References: http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2006-09.html

- - -

DARWIN AWARD: Barn Demolition
Unconfirmed by Darwin (Can you confirm?)

January 2007, Georgia | Raising a new barn is an endeavor
that brings a community together in a working celebration.
Demolishing a barn, on the other hand, is a more solitary
pursuit. A trio of friends set out to dismantle a dilapidated
structure one bracing winter afternoon. Speaking of bracing...

There was wood to be cut, so it seemed sensible for one
industrious friend to fire up his chainsaw. It was less
sensible for him to set about severing crucial support posts.
Carrying the weight of a full barn roof, those wooden beams
were all that stood between the workers and structural collapse.

With minimal forethought, this ill-fated lumberjack could have
anticipated his soon-to-be deadly problem. It was all fun and games
until the roof succumbed to the pull of gravity. As a consolation
prize, the deceased was indeed successful at demolishing the barn.

References: http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2007-02.html

"Beware the Ides of March," Julius Caesar was warned in Shakespeare's
play. Sure enough, Caesar was assasinated on March 15th. Today, the
Ides of March (the middle of the month) conveys a foreboding of doom.
The following people might attest to this, were they only able...

DARWIN AWARD: Jumping Jack Cash
Unconfirmed by Darwin

(March 2000) The Grand Canyon in Arizona is cordoned off by a fence
around the more treacherous overlooks, to prevent unsteady sightseers
from tottering into the depths. Some of these overlooks have small
towering plateaus a short distance from the fence. Tourists toss coins
onto the plateaus, like dry wishing wells. Quite a few coins pile up
on the surfaces, while others fall to the valley floor far below.

One entrepreneur climbed over the fence with a bag, and leapt to
one of the precarious, coin-covered perches. He filled his bag
with booty, then tried to leap back to the fence with the coins.
But the heavy bag arrested his jump, and several tourist were
treated to a view of his plunge to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
He did not survive to harvest the piles of coins that had suffered
his same fate.

References: http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-08.html

- - -

DARWIN AWARD: Fatal Footsie
Confirmed True by Darwin

March 1999, Phnom Penh | Decades of armed strife have littered
Cambodia with unexploded munitions and ordnance. Authorities
warn citizens not to tamper with the devices.

Three friends recently spent an evening sharing drinks and
exchanging insults at a cafe in Svay Rieng. Their companionable
arguing continued for hours, until one man pulled out a
25-year-old unexploded anti-tank mine found in his backyard.

He tossed it under the table, and the three men began playing
Russian roulette, each tossing down a drink and then stamping
on the mine. The other villagers fled in terror.

Minutes later, the explosive detonated with a tremendous boom,
killing the three men in the bar. "Their wives could not even
find their flesh because the blast destroyed everything,"
the Rasmei Kampuchea newspaper reported.

References: http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin1999-07.html

- - -

DARWIN AWARD: Forklift Safety Video
Confirmed True by Darwin

March 2000, Australia | It just stands to reason, one should
follow safe practices while filming a safety video. But the
52-year-old owner of a machinery and equipment training school
violated that rule of common sense while filming a forklift
safety demonstration.

With the cameras rolling, he was thrown from the forklift cabin,
and crushed. Subsequent investigation fingered the culprits
responsible for the fatality: driver error and high speed over
varied terrain, coupled with an unused seat belt.

His final safety demonstration was the most convincing of his career.

References: http://DarwinAwards.com/darwin/darwin2000-06.html

BUY THE BOOK. Don't be a Dar-Winner! These are safety lessons,
great gifts, and a way to while away your time in the bathroom.
Support the author! I will send you an autographed bookplate
to affix inside the front cover, if you just ask when you send
for the free bookmarks mentioned above. BUY THE BOOK!
Copyright 2007 DarwinAwards.com -- Be safe!

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